Don't Go Away

Note: This is not going to be a post about my views of homosexuality or of the American homosexual movement (which are not one and the same, by the way). This is neither an appropriate or wise platform for such a discussion. If you want to know my views, let's discuss it in person, preferably over coffee. :)

Why is it that it seems like people come out and then leave?

I've been noticing a trend: a friend comes out, and then I never/rarely hear from them again.

Not that we were necessarily close in the first place, but if this is supposed to be so natural a lifestyle, why does it interfere with something so natural as friendship?

Maybe they think I hate them now. I wouldn't want to chat with someone who hates me. But I've only ever been called hateful once (and the really awkward part is that she doesn't know me). No one whom I consider among my circle of friends - or even acquaintances - has ever called me hateful. So I don't think that's it.

Is this just the way things are? Am I going to have to watch friends come out one by one and wave goodbye?

Sure, they have a different lifestyle now, a different ideology. But friends don't have to agree on everything. I can understand that this would create some distance, or at least a different dynamic than before. But is it really necessary to disappear?

Sure, they probably have some new friends from the homosexual community. But I got new friends went I went to college and I still managed to keep my friends back home.

You know, there is so much pain surrounding the choice to come out: life before the decision, factors that prompt the decision, the fall-out after following through on the decision, or all three. My heart hurts with them.

So why add the pain of leaving?