Dear Parents:
Parent your children.
Please.
I'm the cashier in the grocery store, or the girl stocking the shelves.
I'm your librarian, your piano teacher, your babysitter.
I care for your kids at summer camp, at church, in the youth group.
I don't have children, but I love kids!
And I consider myself privileged to care for and interact with yours.
Just don't make me do your job.
I don't want to teach your child manners: that's your job. I shouldn't have to tell them to respect my position as a lady, as their elder, or as an authority (if they are old enough to mouth off they are old enough to learn better). Don't expect me to calm your child's tantrums while you are present; I would not want to disrespect your position in their life by stepping into your shoes inappropriately - even if I represent an office of authority.
I realize that not having my own child means that I can't possibly understand the difficulties the parent/child relationship encounters in our world. But you can parent successfully!
I know because of the families who do.
I know it's possible because of the children who say "please" and "thank you" and who look me in the eye and smile when I say hello. I know because of children I see respect their parents - and me. I know it anew every time I gladly anticipate interacting with a family of pleasant, well-behaved youngsters.
Yes, every good child has her lesser moments.
Yes, every bit of proper training can dissolve in a particularly intense moment.
But what are the patterns? what is the pervading typicality?
You can do this.
You can raise a child to be a young adult.
You can cultivate your self-centered progeny to be caring and compassionate, individuals prepared with grace and poise for the slights and obstacles the rest of life will throw in their way.
I'm cheering for you!
Sincerely,
Me
