A Day in the Life of a New Wife

As a couple approaches matrimony, people delight in telling them how humbling marriage is. I heard it often enough that I could nod sagely every time I heard it, with a conspiratorial smile because I was "in the know" about how my selfishness and sinfulness was about to be revealed in a whole new way after I said "I do."

But marriage is humbling in other ways. No one bothered to mention them.

Take last Thursday for instance.

I needed inspiration for supper preparation and so had asked my darling hubby what would tickle his palate. His response was "Meatloaf!"  

Excellent, I mused. I can use Mom's recipe - I know that one is tasty - and it will feel homey for me.

"What would you like on the side?" his excellent wife pressed further.

"Something cold," he replied with a smile.

Something cold? I thought. What is a "cold" side? I am used to hot potato dishes, baked beans, steamed vegetables, etc., etc., adorning the sides of our dinner plates. I am prepared for the struggle to time them all exactly so they are finished at the same time and able to be served up hot together. WHY would someone want a nice hot dish served cold???

So, I asked him what he meant.

"How about creamy pea salad?"

First of all, I don't eat pea salad.

Second of all, my mother doesn't make pea salad.

Third of all, I don't know how to make pea salad.

So I smile and send him off to work and set about finding a recipe from the all-wise Bing for creamy pea salad.

I found a recipe - one with ingredients that I mostly already had and that sounded agreeable - and set out to make it.

First, I hopped in his truck to do a little grocery shopping in order to fill in the gaps in my pantry. I couldn't find the lever to make the seat slide forward, so I just sat forward in the seat, leaned against the seat belt, pointed my toe, and managed to work the gas and break pedals somewhat comfortably . . . at least without being a menace to traffic.

I rolled into the little local grocery and set about making my purchases for my home-cooked meal for my hubby. As I strolled leisurely down the aisles, I saw the bread rack.

I make my own bread, was the snobbish thought which likes to echo through my head.

You are almost out of bread, was the impish thought in return.

Look, there's even some bakery bread. That can't be as bad as the factory stuff. You don't have the time or fresh flour for your own right now, and making bread with regular flour is a sad concession in itself.

Yes, I could rationalize it, so I sheepishly tucked some store-bought, bakery-made bread into my cart and tried to look nonchalant.

I got back home and put away my groceries feeling very much like a real homemaker. The bread went into the freezer and the rest of the groceries found homes in my cupboards.

Next task: creamy pea salad.

Required: a hard-boiled egg.

Hard-boiled egg? A hard-boiled egg? I don't eat hard-boiled eggs. I don't make hard-boiled eggs. How am I supposed to hard-boil an egg?

Back to Bing I went, feeling less and less competent as a cook than I had in years.

Eureka! Bing pulled through, and I made a few extra eggs to keep in the fridge, just in case the hubby likes to eat them. Good, back on track to being competent in the kitchen.

The salad slid together, and I even had to admit it was good. The meatloaf roasted, and it tasted like home.

I admitted to the new husband that his new wife had bought bread, which he happily forgave, and I glowingly enjoyed his praises over my culinary efforts.

So, it turned out well (better than well, actually!); but the next time you start waxing eloquent about marriage's humbling qualities, stop and make sure the couple you're talking to knows that it isn't just humbling as it pertains to sin and redemption.

Oh, no.

Once you start realizing that there are real, reasonable people out there that eat the food you always snub in the potluck line, you just might be serving up a cold side of humble pie.